An Update and Dad's email

We are taking things day by day. Sunday was a very good day for Mom up until the early afternoon. Dad called me so that she and I could talk since she was cohesive and making wonderful sense. I was able to have a lovely conversation with her! What a blessing. Monday (yesterday) was less good... she returned again to being unable to form sentences or receive information well.

Grandmom did share a story with me recently that gave me a giggle...She described one of Mom's comments yesterday:

"We laughed on the way home though. When John came and said you were dilated 3 centimeters Jan said ' We had better pack a bag.' Her only full sentence of the day."

[On a side note, it is true that I am dilated 3 cm, but I am still at home, just instructed to lay low and hydrate...we're heading in the direction of labor, but let's hope we move that direction slowly!]

Thanks to all those who are supporting, thinking about, and praying for our family right now. Mom is lucky to have such loved ones in her life.

Below is an email Dad had sent out... wanted to duplicate it here:

From Dad (sent Monday-yesterday):

On last Tuesday, Jan was fine as could be and had been feeling that well for about a week! We met Tuesday afternoon with Dr. Miller, head of Brown Cancer Center, and he was very pleased with how Jan was doing and said he felt she would enjoy this wonderful ride for a matter of months vs. weeks. Jan and I even began making plans to travel for an overnight visit to see one of her longest friends (Mia) and for leaving for Columbus soon after the twins were born (or, more likely, as soon as we learned that Tricia's water had broken!).

However, just the next day (Wednesday morning) Jan woke up not feeling well, which included having a headache and back pain, but she took Tylenol and carried out a full day of receiving visitors until around 9:00 PM. On Thursday Jan was less mentally alert nor as hungry and by Friday, she simply closed down. She wouldn't eat or drink, she slept some 90% of the time and when awake, she was incoherrent or unresponsive.

Yesterday morning I arrived at Norton's Hospice Unit to take Jan home as was scheduled, with the goal of helping her out of this unusual and surprising funk with home cooking and 24/7 love and care. But from the time I woke Jan up she did not recognize me (or at least did not show that she did). She could not talk at all and had a blank stare in her eyes. Jan had refused food since Friday morning's breakfast, was running a pretty high fever and would not take her medicine. Then, when I met with the Hospice Unit doctor and nurse on duty, they took the time to explain in a caring and understanding way that Jan had begun the death process, during which her body will begin to function less and less.

Naturally, I was in denial at first and called both the Brown Center nurse (Bev) and Brown's oncology doctor-on-call about transfering Jan to U of L hospital for a second opinion (and to conduct whatever other tests were needed to fix the problems). However, both Bev and the doctor convinced me that this process was in fact what was occuring, and that Jan was better off where she is (which also would avoid putting Jan through the trama of being moved). Bob and Joyce came down and saw first hand how accurate this determination is. Justin replaced Bob and Joyce and he spent the night on the couch in his mom's room.

Jan's body condition will go up and down. For example, this morning Jan started out slowly (would not eat breakfast and would not take her medicine) but by Noon she was quite alert and in a very good mood! Her fever had broken and she ate a little of her lunch. Plus, she stayed awake for some seven or more hours straight! It was a good day for Jan, and for everyone who saw her. I hope tomorrow will be just as good.

Even when Jan is not alert, she appreciates company and can hear what is said to (or about) her. The Hospice people say to talk to her like normal; tell her what we have been doing and, if we choose, perhaps hold her hand and let her know how much we love her and are praying for her. This helps to give her a warm, cozy feeling and keeps her mental outlook positive.

Jan can be reached on her private room phone, (502) 629-3697 or seen in her room (number 607) on the top floor of the Norton Pavilion, which is the former Methodist Hospital facing Broadway between Floyd and Preston streets. You can't miss the spouting water fountains in front of the building and a parking garage behind it is reachable from both side streets.

Regarding here at home, large numbers of well-meaning phone calls are being received. And, however much they are appreciated, the volume can be overwhelming and quite time consuming. Therefore, besides family members or urgent calls, I'd like to ask that you try to contact me only by email for awhile. I hope and trust that you understand.

Love,

John